Friday, July 29, 2016

In which Tryph is that bitch who thinks she's better than you

Or at least that's what you think when you look at me.

I'm an introvert.  I find being around people draining, I never know what to say and honestly I seem like I'm awful to be around when I don't know who you are, or what you're into.  I am always careful and measured when I do speak, and this is amplified in the first part of any relationship.

I've learned to cope, and have adapted somewhat.  Or at least it seems like that when I'm in a position to get to know you.

But, I've spent the bulk of my life being thought of and called a "bitch".  Hell, a few months ago someone told me that in the first few meetings with me, he considered me to be "severe".

Anyone who actually knows me (when I'm at least not super stressed and angry) knows that I'm anything but severe or a bitch.  I'm smart, funny, engaging, and interesting... but since I don't know how to start a conversation, you'd never ever know that if you looked at me.

Now, this is something I am used to, and while it's a little bit hurtful I'm over it.  But... to know that someone who is a lovely person get judged the same way... it's weird how deeply that cut me.  It used to hurt a lot when I was a kid.  I didn't understand why someone would say such awful things about me, or would treat me poorly just because I didn't know them well enough to comfortably talk to.  I remember feeling like an outcast because I was always writing or reading alone and knowing the whispers about me.

I know that or society tends to judge books by their cover... but... think for a moment and consider how many wonderful people you don't have in your life because you decided that they thought they were better than you and therefore not worth your time.

Seriously think about it.

There are so many people who you would enrich your life if you gave them a chance... And you're the one who needs to because trust me, they're panicking and don't know how to give you a chance.

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