Tuesday, November 26, 2013

In which Tryph is a dead girl walking

I am fairly certain that I am a dead girl walking.

Every morning I wake up.  Every tear I cry.  Every dream that slips away and every beat of my heart brings me that much closer to the end of me.

Until today I wore a bracelet that said "Whatever Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger... I'm not dead yet".  I wore it to remind me how my inner strength and fortitude had kept me going; How strong I was, and that I was a warrior.  That nothing could keep me down.

I don't think any of that is true anymore.

I think I have finally run myself down so far that I can't get back up.  And I'm so very alone... there is no one there with me.  Sure I have supporters on the sidelines that call out encouragement... but there just isn't anyone in the muddy trenches with me.

And I don't think I can make it on my own.  I was never strong enough, and have always relied on others to help me through the tough times... and now... now I'm alone.

And I'm not very strong.

But then, I'm just a dead girl walking.
A girl too stupid to stop and lay down.

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