Monday, January 28, 2013

In which Tryph rembembers she's an artist

I've always had a hard time calling myself an artist because my talents don't fit within the realm of drawing, painting, sculpting... the typical things that people associate with "Art"

Every now and again, I'm reminded that art goes beyond the great paintings and sculptures adorning gallery walls.  That art can be all around us, and that an artist finds a way to capture it. That art is something that tugs at, and touches our souls....

Or something like that.

Anyhow, I am an artist.  I create when I write.  I create and capture when I'm behind my camera.  When I got behind a lighting board, and created landscapes of light... I made magic and whole worlds come to life.... you can't tell me that's not art.

And I forget that I am an artist on a fairly regular basis.  I suppose I forget because I down play my own skills (and I let the nagging voices of my own inner demons get louder than they should sometimes), and because I'm terrified of the idea of being an artist.  Calling yourself an "artist" seems so freaking flaky, doesn't it?

I've always wanted a life of substance.

Okay, that's not totally honest.  I, like most children, once had dreams of being a rockstar... but they ended up turning into dreams of being a motivational speaker or something equally lame in my estimation.  Don't get me wrong, I think it's an amazing calling to touch people, to help people and I KNOW it's something I'd be good at...

But I wonder if I'm selling myself short.

My Sister (in law) this weekend finally saw the photos I took at her wedding last August.  Her reaction was what reminded me that I am an artist at heart.  All she said was "You know, I've got lots of pictures of the wedding, the night before etc... but I don't have anything like THOSE"

It's time to stop letting the demons tear me down.  I've stopped the landslide of depression I fought through the last half of last year (losing my mother while she still walks this earth... it took a lot out of me)... Now it's time to start building myself, and my artist half back up.

I've been slow to start, but this 2013 is going to get crushed.

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