Thursday, March 24, 2011

In which Tryph writes a list

When things are stressful, or confusing or I generally can't make sense of things, I make lists.

I've told you about this before faithful readers, but I love the list making. Lists make the world a better place (for me) to live.

So I've had a few things to deal with this week.

Work stresses the crap out of me, because I don't know what my role is on a daily basis. I've been filling the gaps of Trainer, QA, Coach, Floor support, Technical support, Hardware/software support, and creator of training documents.

But they make sure I get breaks, and I try to leave the office at lunch daily to help detox and destress, so it's not too bad. I just make lists of what I've done and what to do as I go along. It helps it make sense to me.

Then there's the LomL stuff. which I don't want to get into right now.

And then there's the house.

A year ago, long before LomL, long before this job, and long before our debts (and by our, I mean the ones that are in my name) I told TeX I was leaving. We talked about what to do with the house at that point. About eight and a half years ago, we bought this house. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Living in Helland close to the highway kept us close enough to town that we could get back and forth with ease. And both of us had day shifts that started at approximately the same time. The boychild went to school in the city... so it all worked. I mean, I kind of hated Helland from the first day, but it was doable. I worked A LOT back then and had no real life save for movie nights. And movie nights were generally held here.

Anyhow... life changed, I don't work at that old job. I have different hours, and it's become difficult to get from point A to point B. I tend to do a lot more things on my own, and because I don't drive yet, it's more than a bit of a pain in the ass.

SO when I made it clear that I'd be moving, we talked about selling the house, and TeX said he wanted to keep it.

And when I fell for LomL, we talked about selling the house, and TeX said he wanted to keep it.

And now that LomL is YAE and I'm 6 weeks from my proposed moving date, TeX wants to sell the house.

Maybe.

He's not sure, and there are a few things to seriously consider when it comes to selling. Things I'd have loved to consider a year ago, a few months ago, or at any point when I wasn't already looking at apartments.

Pros to selling
- not giving up the equity I helped build. (I've paid into the house for 8 years)
- down payment for my own place (meaning living in a house instead of an apartment)
- not having the mortgage hanging over my head (meaning if TeX walked from the house, I'd be screwed)
- a fresh start

Cons to selling the house
- penalty to breaking mortgage early (going to the bank to find out what this is)
- the work (estimated at 10-15K)
- not being able to move out until it's fixed
- Realtor fees (could be upwards of 10%)

There are a few things that are points that I absolutely feel I cannot waffle on. I can't keep living in this house. It's not that bad all the time, but the times it is, I go so crazy that I can't even breathe. but I know he can't pay for the repairs necessary himself...

I'm going to talk to my mother and do the unthinkable. I'm going to see if I can stay with her rent free. I'm also going to talk to the bank about a line of credit. If we're going to sell, I want the house on the market ASAP.

This little bunny, well now more than ever she needs to start her new life. And I can't stand any more delays. As a very wise and wonderful woman told me... I've got to be the butterfly. And to do so, I have to get out of this cocoon.

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