Thursday, February 24, 2011

In which tryph finds herself stuck

I find myself caught between a rock and an even harder rock.

It's only temporary really as one of the rocks will be falling away in a few months time... But at present it's very hard.

The other rock you ask?

My own insanity and neurosis.

Some of my actions drive TeX crazy. And I understand why. I do not fault him for hurting or getting upset. It is just how it is and I know very well the place he is finding himself. As a result of this, I directly altered my actions in an attempt to make both of us happy and to perhaps find some peace about it.

It didn't work.

I now find myself in the strained position of figuring out how to keep him from freaking the fuck out (which is having a negative effect on The BC) and keeping myself from slipping into a depressed state that will make me drive the people I love away from me.

Honestly I'd like to be able to say 'fuck him' but I just can't. For a lot of reasons.

So here I sit, between a rock and an even harder rock.

No comments: