Tuesday, December 28, 2010

In which Tryph considers family

The phrase blood is thicker than water has always bothered me.

Now, this could have something to do with the fact that the term 'dysfunctional' doesn't even begin to cover my family, but either way, the idea that family is simply defined by 'blood' was always an upsetting concept.

You see, to me the closest people I have aren't related to me by blood. The people I love and trust are all people who I've never even met, or are in no way blood related to me. My best friends and sisters are far flung. People I give the love and respect due parents are kilometers away.

What makes me consider this point today... well... I'll tell you.

A comment was made to me that family is a mother, a father and a child. That this little unit is all that matters and needs to
Be maintained at any and all costs.

And I think to myself for a second.

Yes, family is the all important thing. My relationship with the boychild is paramount. Not just because of blood, but because he owns a piece of my heart and soul. His father on the otherhand... For reasons I will not get into here, lost the right to call himself MY family (although I acknowledge that he and my son are still a family unit unto themselves) 3.5 years ago.

Shouldn't it take more than copulation and procreation to make people family? Is it more or less than blood relations? Tell me... what is family to you?


amanda said...

My family is far flung. It include blood and not blood. It involves YOU, closer to me in my heart than a lot of people. And it involves my beloveds and our sons. No one that sees Joe and the boys doubts that he is a father to them, whether his DNA was involved or not, and NO ONE can doubt that they are sprung for Luc's loins.

Family is what you make it, not what you forced on by the unfortunate nature of 'birth'.

Sari said...

The whole "staying married for the sake of the child" concept is archaic and horrifying. How is it any good for a child to live in a home where his parents hate each other? Separate and happy is better than together and miserable.

eva said...

I haven't been very active with blogging and such lately- seems like lots of stuff has happened with you since I last read your blog! I agree with Sari about it being better to be separate and happy. Good luck with finding a flat- I'm sure it will be a big relief to have your own space! :)