Thursday, September 9, 2010

In Which Tryph dreads this one...

Day 07 – Your best friend


This one is double tough.

Part of me wants to cop out and say that I'm my own best friend, but I respect you too much to lie like that. Especially when it's a lie I'd tell because I'm afraid of telling the truth.

So, here's why this is extremely tough.

Number one, I have, and always have had, a very very hard time letting people in. The reasons for this number in the thousands, and have very little to do with this post.
Number two, historically I haven't HAD a lot of friends.

And there as a number three once, but blogger ate that and I don't remember what it was, so you're stuck with those two.

So there are a lot of people who know parts of me, parts of my personality, but VERY few who know the whole me.

I'd love to say that my husband is one of those people but I can't. Stuff happened, and it's just... well we're not BFF's. I'll explain ALL of that one day, just not TODAY.

MAP, LLV and TBD are all ladies whom I adore, and know me pretty well, and if the three of them put all their notes on me on the table, you'd probably get a fairly coherent picture of who I am in entirety. Sadly I'm too afraid to let them all in ALL the way, you know? Not because of them, but because of past history.

Then there's a few of the Knitters (what knitters?) and my two twitter BFF's (CelestialAxis and MsRib) who are getting to know me, and I'm doing my very best to not keep up all the walls that I've built over the years. But I don't want to overwhelm anyone and tell them TOO much TOO soon, you know?

And the final person who I'd say knows me better than anyone and always has... well... I'll call him WTFA (way too far away). He wasn't ALWAYS far away, and he wasn't always my best friend. But there was a time where he was the closest person in the world to me, and it was LONG before all the walls got built and reinforced. When we lost touch (because he moved way too far away) I was beyond heart broken. He's back in my life, and it's almost like it used to be. He still knows me better than anyone. It's a wonderful feeling.

anyhow... I'm always afraid to use the term 'best friends' because I don't know if the other party feels the same. It' s kind of like saying 'I love you' to your boy/girlfriend before they're ready. It can be a recipe for disaster, and heartache.

Who are your best friends and what are your thoughts on the subject?


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