Wednesday, August 18, 2010

In which tryph was never as invisible as she thought

I tend to comment that I wear invisibility like a cloak, that it's my super power. I like to say that I'm a ninja and blend into the shadows, leaving no trace. In sort, I've spent a lot of time thinking I couldn't be seen.

All kidding aside for a moment, I often attributed this 'skill' to the fact that no one gave half a damn. About me that is.

You see, I was never the girl who made friends. Also, unless I'm excited (or over caffeinated) I tend to be quite soft spoken, and rather unassuming. I make it a point to fly under the radar. the less I'm noticed, the better.

This, faithful readers, is how I managed to cope throughout most of my school days.

You see, I was almost always the new girl. I changed schools A LOT.

Also, I was a poor (as in, not wealthy) kid. We shopped at thrift stores, and I always have BAD knock offs. And, being the girl with crazy curly hair, I often got picked on. So I sucked it up, and quickly learned how to not be noticed. this, was a lesson I learned by the time I was 8 or so.

Highschool hit, and I really thought I'd mastered my invisibility act. I could literally drift through a crowd and no one would noticed I was there. Sure, my friends knew I was there, but I was often missed by them too.

And then, adulthood hit, I met people, started working and held dear to that cloak. Invisible was good.

I've found out that i was never really all that good at going unseen.

People that I barely knew from Highschool, that hung on the fringes of my 'social circle' knew my name. Knew who I was, and have approached me and asked how I was doing. People I don't know anymore, who's faces are unfamiliar to me. I've always found it strange... that I seemed to have made enough of an impact that 10, 15 years later they still know who I am.

Or people I watched from afar... it's strange to me to find that they were watching me right back. I didn't think they knew, they cared, they even noticed I was there, and yet, here I am a decade and a half later hearing that I was the center of their attention, for a time.

And adulthood...

I went out for lunch with an awesome lady (whom I do not have a codename for yet... ummm... we'll go with TBD - The Book Dragon), and I really didn't think she thought much of me the first time we met. I did my standard, 'shy' girl thing, and she tells me that was never the case.

I just find it surprising. I've never really thought much of myself. I've always thought I was good at being invisible. I suppose I was wrong on a lot of counts

(and I quite hate this post, but because I'm pressed for time, I'll post it anyhow. sorry faithful readers... you know I still love you, right?)

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