Tuesday, August 10, 2010

In which Tryph wants to be angry

Correct me if I'm wrong, but anger is one of those stages of grief, right?

I'm not sure, I've never done this before.

The only thing I REALLY know at this point is that it hurts, and I'm still crying on and off. Not as much today (I'm actually writing this TODAY), as I was this weekend, but enough. And some thoughts, things, make me tear up a little bit.

I've never lost anyone who was important to me.

And I'm not good at being SAD. It's a foreign idea to me. It's strange. I can always turn SAD into something else. I dance, I sing (off key and badly), I clean, or (lately) I write.

Honestly, more often than not, I turn SAD into ANGRY.

Angry is a lot easier to deal with. Angry I can burn off hot and fast.

Sad... sad I just don't know how to deal.

I keep saying to myself "you promised you'd be here in a year... you promised you'd see me through the changes that are coming"

And... I just can't get angry.

I don't know....


eva said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I think it's important to feel sad in order to move on. It sounds like this person really influenced your life in a positive way- I'm glad he did. All we have are fleeting moments, none of us gets to hold on to anything forever - that doesn't give any comfort though, does it? Sigh. Reality is poorly constructed.
I hope you find it easy to keep his positive energy and words fresh in mind while you keep moving forward.

Maddie said...

i am more sorry than words can ever convey. keep mojo alive in your heart. i dont know what happens in the afterlife but iam certain he knew you cared about him..surround yourself with people who care for you its not good to be alone.


Tryphyna said...

Thank you both so much...

Mojo is immortal now. In my heart, my thoughts and in the little things I do that push me forward.

I like that... the idea of immortality through those who you touch.