Tuesday, April 20, 2010

In which Shana rewatches TrueBlood

and has a thought.

I beat myself up a lot about a lot of things. Lately it's been about me pouring my guts out in emails (that I'm doing a good job at not sending {knocks on wood}) and here in the blog. The trouble is there is so much that I don't feel like I CAN say.

In short so much is up in the air that anything I can or might say changes by the day, minute and sometimes even the seconds.

So WHY do I keep typing all this stuff up? why do I keep trying to pour myself on the table for the world to see (when I don't even know what it is I'm trying to pour out). And while I was watching True Blood this afternoon (It kept me company as I sent out a dozen or so resumes) there was a piece of dialog that caught my ear.

Sam: You know ... not everybody likes to lay their guts out on the table like that, Tara.
Tara: Yeah, they might not like it, but they all dream about finding somebody they can do it with.

And there, THAT my friends, is the WHY. That is why I keep bringing BS to my blogs. That is why I keep sending stupid circular emails (that I have no business sending).

Well, that and as someone accused me, I'm a communicator.

But yeah... I guess I'm still dreaming of finding someone that I can pour my guts out to.

(Oh yeah, also, rewatching TrueBlood and seeing Tara's hair sort of makes me want to get my hair braided... it's almost long enough that it would look pretty....)


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Mana said...

You can pour your guts out to me any time, sweety!

Shana-Marie said...

@Mana - Thanks... one day, and possibly in the not too distant future, I'll take you up on that.