Tuesday, January 26, 2010

In which Shana Questions Reality

I blogged about dreams last week, and I'm doing it again this one.

Sometimes I lucid dream, most times I watch the dream unfold in front of me. Rarely though, I have dreams like I had last night. A dream that I am a part of, a dream that feels so real that even as it leaves my mind I still feel its impact on my body. These are the dreams that make me question reality.

There is always one thing that ties these dreams together. One person. This is a person who really was, at one point, a large part of my life. They still have a role now, however it's more of a bit part. A part that barely dances on the fringes of my world.

I dare not say much more regarding whom this is, as it leads to more questions than I am prepared to answer, but needless to say, whenever I dream of this person, it's always a wild ride.

Sometimes it's a random encounter between this person and myself. Others, we've made different choices, and life is different. But every single time I dream of them, it's this crazy vivid and intense, fully complete dream.

I used to wake up from these dreams utterly shaken. Like I'd been ripped from the world I should belong in and dropped into this one. I'd be frustrated, and angry and unsure how to proceed. I'd wake up feeling loss and lost. Broken some how.

I still do, but less so now than it used to be. At least now I know what is reality, but for those brief moments in the dream world and in the moments after, I'm not always sure.

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