Friday, December 4, 2009

In which Shana has friends

There are times that I feel lonely. And when I'm 100% honest with myself, I'm really not lonely.

I have had a lot of friends. I've had good friends, and I've had bad friends, and I've had unlikely friends. Over the last few years I've cut myself off just about all of my friends, and I've felt really quite sad because of it.

I pushed people away, and refused to open up because I was afraid.

You see, the bad friends I've had... well they made me feel bad about who I am. And about reaching out for support.

There are times that I'm a bit unstable. There are times when I need someone or something to grab onto. And I thought I was a BAD friend for needing this. So rather than be a bad friend, I removed friendship from the table all together.

And then I met Mrs. Awesome Pants.

I'm not going to say that she's my only friend, because that's just a flat out lie. There are so many people who've come into my world, either in real life, blog life, twitter life, that I've come to realize ARE still friends.

Mrs. Awesome Pants just taught me what REAL friends are like. She showed me time and again that friends are there to lean on sometimes, and that there isn't always going to be a nasty comment about it.

She taught me that it's OKAY to disagree with someone, and that you can still be friends the next day.

She taught me that communication is a two way street, and that I don't have to do all the work.

She taught me that good friends hang around when you tell them you need space. They might even prod you to make sure you're still okay.

She showed me that she is my friend, and that so are many other people I may have written off.

So thank you all my friends. And thank you Mrs. AP.

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