Friday, September 4, 2009

In which Shana thinks about wedding parties

Wow.... two wedding posts in a week or so. It really is something that's on my mind, isn't it?

So, a few years back, in the days of having friends, I was in a wedding party. It was my 'best' friend marrying a bloke who had his own best friend. Obv's I was her matron of honor, and his best friend was his best man.

Makes sense, right?

Now, I'm married and was married to the hubby at this point, and the best man was also in a relationship of his own. This was not something that ever came up in discussing the wedding party. Honestly, it was a non-issue. The hubby, while friendly with both sides of the party, had no expectations about being in the wedding party, and was quite content to chill just watching things unfold.

Now, the other half of the best man's relationship though, was a different story. I guess she had a very hard time with not being the bride's MOH. In her mind, if her man was going to be in the wedding, she was the only person acceptable to stand opposite him, even if she was not the bride's friend (which isn't to say they weren't friendly, just not on the same scale). She was apparently very upset having to watch her man walk down the aisle with me.

Though, honestly, I didn't walk down the aisle with him. The pairings for who walked out of the church was a tad unorthodox, but it was perfect given our circumstances. The flower girl, was the best mans' daughter, and the ring bearer was my son. So walking out, I held the ring bearer's hand, and the flower girl held her daddy's hand. It was cute.

Even still, she was pissed. Like SUPER pissed.

Does she have any right to be? Should be bride or groom be expected to take the feelings of the spouses/partners of the wedding party into account when selecting who is going to stand for who?

Honestly, I don't think so. Even when the hubby was an usher, and I wasn't in the wedding party, I didn't much care. What are your thoughts?


William Wren said...

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Sari said...

1st of all, WTF is the first commenter? Weird. =P

2nd of all, that chick needed to chill. Pretty much all of my wedding party is married, and no one's spouse is in the party with them. We like their spouses, they're just not close friends. Luckily I know none of them will freak like that, but even if they did, I wouldn't put them in the party.

The best man (married) will walk w/ my lesbian sister (MOH). Of the groomsmen, one is married w/ a baby and one is engaged w/ two kids (w/ his fiance), and the bridesmaids they're walking with are married w/ a baby, and married w/ two babies. Obviously, everyone is taken.

Of the spouses, I've met all but one (haven't met the best man or his wife, they live out of state). I love Adam's fiance Jenni and Twitter w/ her all day. When we asked Adam to be in the wedding, you could tell she had no expectations about being in it too. She was just like, "Seat me w/ Matt, time to get drunk!"

This is why I love these people. =)

Shana-Marie said...

@William Wren - Say What?

@Sari - I agree. I didn't think she had a leg to stand on. Though, in retrospect, it totally makes things make sense to me now! I always wondered why she had such a huge problem with me.

Know what the best part is? She accidently bought her own engagement ring, so she's now getting married. And her wedding party, isn't including the wife of the best man. Not only is she high strung but she's a hypocrite!

Maddie said...

1st: what is (MOH)?

2nd:"accidently bought her own engagement ring" he he. i guess you were met by a godzilla of a bride. i have never been married but the idea of a wedding is to celebrate your union with the man/partner you love. not being a bitch and over reacting!!

Shana-Marie said...

@maddie - MOH = Matron or Maid of Honor. In my case, I was a Matron based on being already married.

And yea... she bought it on Ebay. I guess the screen that says "by clicking here you are confirming that you will buy this ring" didn't mean much to her.

I think some women just get wrapped up in wanting it to all be perfect. And there are far too many type A personalities out there.