Friday, August 28, 2009

In which Shana muses about wedding attire

A few people I know are getting married in the next year or so, and it's got me thinking about what is and is not appropriate to wear to a wedding. For note, this is just me musing, I really don't expect invitations to any of the weddings that I know of happening... all things considered (distance, contact ratio, etc).

I haven't been to many weddings myself. When my mother married my step father, I wore a pretty cream coloured dress with pink and blue flowers on it. My mother's friend teased my already curly/frizzy hair. It was awful!

Then I went with my hubby to a friend's wedding. Not my friend, one of his. I really didn't want to go, and had several panic attacks about it. We didn't talk much about what I was going to wear, simply because I think the hubby was just happy I managed to go. To that wedding, I made a dress coat out of black Chinese silk that I wore over top of black pants.

The next wedding was one of my friends. I was in this wedding, so there really wasn't much to talk about. I wore the dress that we'd picked out, and that was that. The dress was the pretty lavender one I've showed here before.

And finally, we come to the last wedding we went to. It was his cousin's wedding, and we went up north and it was on the shore of one of the many little lakes we have up there. This time, the hubby and I got into quite a row about what I was going to wear. I had a cute little black dress that I wanted to wear, but he told me that I couldn't wear black to a wedding. I told him he was being dumb. We fought, and fought, and I wound up wearing a red dress that I didn't feel TOO awkward wearing. I just didn't get it. Why wasn't he going to let me wear black?

Flash forward to now. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine went to a wedding. She stressed about what to wear, and was determined to not wear black. She felt it would be in appropriate to wear black to a wedding.

I just don't get it.

I understand that for some, black attire is considered a symbol of mourning, but for me, black is just a shade that I like to wear, and feel comfortable in.

So, to the brides to be, and the brides that have been, and the brides that may be... what are your thoughts? Can female guests wear black to a wedding without it being offensive?

5 comments:

taurusrising said...

I have a wedding to go to next weekend and have SO much anxiety about it. I don't really have anything to wear - I also have a black dress... but like your friend, I don't think I'd be comfortable wearing it to a wedding. For some reason, I feel like I should wear something "cheerier".

So, I am stressing over it too. I'm curious to see what others think about this... very timely post! (for me at least:)

Kat

Sari said...

I see people wear black dresses to weddings all the time, especially in my fashion-conscious family. Maybe it's a Canada vs. USA thing (I doubt it) but it doesn't seem to be a big deal here at all.

I'm going to a wedding next month and wearing lilac. The last wedding I went to, I wore a dress that was black lace over gold silk. Before that was a silk multi-colored paisley deal that was very gypsy-like. I'm all over the board, I just like to wear something different to each one. =)

Your best bet w/ a black dress is to add color w/ the accessories. My cousin wore all black and white to one, w/ a red necklace and shoes. It looked awesome.

Maddie said...

idk people here in egypt wear black but my mom fussed about the last wedding i went to she wanted me to look more"appealing". i ended up going in a little black dress, flat black shoes and a golden purse because i told her i`d go naked or none at all...she didn`t like either option!

so wear whatever the hell you want the bride should be happy u r there not happy because you`re in colors

Shana-Marie said...

Kat- I think the general consensus is that black is okay, so long as it doesn't make you feel all doom and gloom like. I think my 'rockstar' idea works here. Wear whatever is going to make you feel like a rockstar to the wedding you're heading to. And like Sari says, accessories can be the key to make black less gloomy.

Sari - I really don't think it's really a border thing... I just think it's the people that I'm around. It's really personal I guess. My family, my husband, his parents my parents, all give me a hard time about my monochrome wardrobe, and I think that's where his concern came from. Personally, I think black is elegant when done right.

Maddie - I agree, it shouldn't matter what colour you wear, so long as you don't out dress the bride, right? It's more about your attitude, than what you're wearing. Again, I come back to being a rockstar. No one should be forced to go out feeling like anything but a Rockstar!

eva said...

I would go with my gut instinct and my gut instinct tells me I look great in black, and I would want to look great for a wedding.

People make up silly rules for stuff- make your own rules ;)