Tuesday, July 7, 2009

In which Shana rants crazily

Okay, so not quite crazily, but you'll soon understand what I mean.

The hubby had a confidante when I was at the height of crazy. They talked a lot about me, or his wife as they seemed to deal with similar craziness at home. It was lovely mutual support. Eventually, I mastered control of my self (mostly) and they stopped working together.

Fast forward to now. While I got myself better, she kept on keeping on. In short, at this point, she's dug herself into a deeper hole than I was ever in. It's a mess, more specifically THE mess I've touched on before.

Anyhow, I'm not here to talk about their issues... more mine.

So I'm talking to the male side of this, for previously stated reasons.

Now, knowing her approximate mental state of mind, he and I have chatted a lot lately. Here's the thing though. He alludes to my previously crazed status at least once in every conversation we have.

Now, I know that his lady is going through something rough. I know that I have insight into it. But here's the thing. I consider those years, some of my darkest, most awful and painful times of my life. While it's not something I'll soon forget, or even want to (being that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it) I really don't want it brought up every 5 minutes.

I want to say to him "Yes, I was crazy. Yes I pulled through it. Can we move along now?"

I know he needs a friend, and someone who can listen without judging... but I'm really really getting tired of being called crazy all the damned time.

2 comments:

eva said...

What a dilemma.. I get the same when having to talk to people close to me about my depression. I sometimes tell them that, "look, me being depressed in the first place is bad enough, I don't need to spend my time talking and thinking about it in addition." Maybe you could tell the guy something along the lines of what you wrote here. It's not being rude, it's being honest and taking care of yourself.
Maybe he thinks you find it great to relate, and have no idea how hard it is for you.

Ps. I haven't forgotten the comission question, give me your email adr and I'll answer sooner or later ( I am slow-motion-lady)

Shana-Marie said...

I think he means well to be honest. At one point he even told me that he was proud of how far I'd come, which meant a lot. I figure once his life settles down (ie ex stops being crazy, the divorce is finalised and the custody battle is less battly) if he still keeps calling me crazy girl, I may let him know it bugs me. For now, it's small potatos compared to the rest of it.

And don't worry about it... I'm in no hurry at this point! Just take your time dear!