Tuesday, June 23, 2009

In which Shana is entirely not surprised

I've lost yet another friend.

Though, friend isn't the right word for it. This was a person that I very rarely talked to, and haven't seen in years. And by rarely, before the last 2 weeks, we hadn't communicated since 2007.

We had very little in common, and nothing to talk about. But they were someone I knew, and made it through my last major purge of facebook.

Anyhow, I lost this person the same way I've lost many others. For not having the good sense to simply take their side. Instead, I reached out to the other party in the altercation. Instead I chose to not accept that they were simply a faultless victim.

Simply put, I recognized that there was more to what was being said.

I'm going to drop some of the vagueness, because to be honest, pronouns make things so much easier to keep track of for both you and me.

Anyhow, the friend was the she, and the other party was the he. I found out that there was indeed much MUCH more to what was going on. I also agreed that if it was a situation where damage could be minimized by taking drastic action, that action should be taken. Even if the action was a terrible one to take.

I don't think children should ever be used as pawns, but I do think that children should be sheltered from an overly negatively emotional person. As I've stated before, I know first hand just what it can do to a child, and believe me when I say I wish I knew how I was hurting my boy when I was lashing out at the world.

Anyhow... I spoke to the him, and I suppose this puts me in her doghouse, and it leaves me entirely not surprised. This is not the first time I've lost someone for seeing both sides of the story, nor (I'm sure) will it be the last.

There is one thing I am rather resentful about. The fact that I was called fake. Granted, this may not be directed entirely at me, but the possibility was there. I take great issue with that. I did not say anything to him that I would not say to her. I'm not two faced, and I don't play that kind of game.

But what can I do?

Not much, other than move on with my life, knowing that I stand my my ideals and being self aware.

Oh and not expecting other to be at the same level of enlightenment as me.

not that I'm overly enlightened.

Oh bother... I'm just going to spell check and post this.


eva said...

There was a child involved, and that makes all the difference. Maybe she'll be able to look back on this at some point in the future, and understand why you did what you did - and maybe also that you did the right thing.

Shana-Marie said...

I hope she does, for her children's sake. I just hope she can do some soul searching and understand everything that's going on. Right now, she just seems very selfish and thinking that everyone's motives are to hurt her. When while she's getting hurt, it's only a side effect of the protecting her kids from her self destructiveness.

here's to hoping she comes through it okay!