Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I'm a creep....

When I was young, a teenager even... I had dreams of being special.

Gods, all that seems so very far away. I know it wasn't really all that long ago, but today, it really does.

One thinks she should stop watching movies made by Sam Mendes. He just seems to point out the futility of life, and by gods, it fucking hurts. (last night, we watched Revolutionary road)

I've wanted to write for a living since I was 4, and wanted to take photographs since I was 8 or so... and yet I'm doing neither. I'm not even trying anymore.

I just don't see the point.

I wish I was special... but I'm just not. I never was, and never will be.

1 comment:

eva said...

it sounds like you're still depressed. don't listen to thoughts like that.

i haven't reached any of my anbitions in life - at this rate, i don't know if i will. but i still feel special, and so should you.

i have a brother who's really upset because he doesn't think his job is cool enough. but he enjoys work.. i keep trying to tell him that it doesn't matter what other people think about his job, he should just do whatever makes him happy.

but hey, if you love writing and photography,then why don't start it again? you don't have to be all serious and hard on yourself with it, but try to play with it at first.