Tuesday, April 14, 2009


You've heard me (read me) say that I'm socially awkward.

And I am. I always have been. You've also heard (read) me say that when I was growing up that I had a problem relating with my own peer group. That I didn't feel like I fit, and that I had to TRY to fit with them.

Eventually, and I'll get to that part of the life story later, I gave that up, I stopped trying. Strangely enough when I stopped TRYING so hard, I made friends. For the first time I didn't feel like as much of an outsider.

But I still didn't feel connected to them. I cared about my friends, and they cared about me, but I didn't feel a true emotional connection. Even with the girl who was my best friend. I kept so much about myself to myself. I never really let her in.

I've never let anyone in.

The closest I come to letting people into the inner workings of my mind, my heart and my soul is through my blogs.

When I realized this this weekend... I got a little sad, but then I got to thinking about it. Meaning it just kind of hit me while I was typing this. While I may not have made a personal connection with anyone in real life... at least I have the blog. Perhaps with the blog I can learn how to connect in life. And that's more than a lot of people have.


eva said...

i think writing a blog like you do is a well good way to practice opening up & connecting with people. it's sometimes easier to open up to a stranger than to a friend.. weird, eh?

Princess of the Universe said...

I think that's why so many of us have them- to connect with the people out there...