Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I have notebooks.

Lots and lots of notebooks.

most are half filled, and others are completely blank.

a lot of them have the narrative of my life pressed between the pages. But it's really just a small snapshot. A day or two here, and a day or two there. Detailing the shit that goes on inside of my head. The emo crap that I declare unfit for teh intarwebs.

I have begun using one such book as something of a tarot book. Or a divination book really. It's got my runes in it, and various tarot readings. I've decided that this book will herein be dedicated to tarot/runes/divination and only that. As such, I pulled out all of the pages that contain my 'heartfelt' rants.

This is where I'm undecided.

Do I throw them away, or do I keep them for posterity? The pages served their purpose, the hubs read them, and the air cleared, so why keep them? but then, with all the pictures I've deleted, and burned and pages I've torn out in the past, it pains me to let go.

The manifesto that I'm debating now... it was pivotal. It was HUGE. Now though, it's in the past, and I don't really need it anymore.

I'll more than likely just get rid of it, but who knows.


eva said...

i like to keep jotted down ideas, sketches and whatnot that are actually useful seperate from my diary rants. i do this so i can throw the rants away when i feel it's time to move on. for a while i kept holding on to silly diary rants, thinking they contained some sort of secret about myself that i hadn't discovered.. it was such a relief to decide that i didn't care. i like to re- read old diaries before i chuck them away, but most often the important stuff is what i remember anyway and the rest isn't worth remembering. i know we're supposed to learn by our mistakes and all that.. yet the past is past, look to the future:)

Tarot By Arwen said...

KEEP THEM. OMG don't throw them away. :) Stories lurk in those pages. :)