Sunday, January 11, 2009

tweets and my wardrobe

So... My tweets have been telling a story lately.

The story of Shana not knowing what to wear.

You may be thinking, didn't you just buy a lot of clothes?

And Indeed, I did. Lots of 'em to be honest.

Here's my problem.

I'm terrified of being too conformist, yet at the same time, terrified to be too different. I'm stuck in this warp where I'm torn between feeling comfortable in what I WANT to wear, and wearing what I think I SHOULD wear.

I think to myself, I spent this last year since being fired fighting to regain my identity that I'm not about to lose it again, and I'm so scared that I'm sliding back into it.

But then, I think to myself, that even if I'm wearing my blazers, and my dress shirts that I can still be me. It 's all in the accessories.

Bottom line, I need to regain my confidence in being me, and accepting that I am who I am, and I will succeed no matter what.


eva said...

also, you will be you, no matter what you wear. when you say what you SHOULD wear, are you thinking about what you should wear for work, or in general?
i get clothes handed down by friends, so i often end up wearing things i never thought i'd wear; pastel colours, preppy things(!), i'll wear whatever, i think it's fun to wear something that "isn't me". i still look like myself, and my friends are always surprised how different the clothes look on me than on them.
personality shows in attitude and, you know, that unexplainable thing that is about people, i guess you can call it aura.

to be more materialistic and superficial; accessories is the way to go! funky scarves, silly hats and weird jewellry - i loves it!!

Shana-Marie said...

I know, the clothes don't make me who I am... I do... And I'm having fun stepping outside of my monochormaitc box and indulging in colour and such.

The clothes are really just the first thing that went when I started to become more employee than person, if you know what I mean. I seriously became something of a mindless drone that thought it was OKAY to miss my son's birthday and it was OKAY to work 16 hours a day.

I don't want to slip there again. It was scary!