Monday, November 24, 2008

x-rated... not really

To Censor or not to Censor... that is the question...

I've spent some time debating, albeit, about 30-40 seconds, but time all the same debating that question.

You see, at least a portion (if not all) of my 30-50% readership revealed themselves. And while the revelation could have been a hell of a lot creepier, I was still briefly unsettled.

You see... I have a long history of blogging on the intarweb. I've even closed out more than one blog based on readership. But then again, it was long ago, and it was far away (Oh God, it seems so very far,and if life is just a highway, then the soul is just car...). I'm a different person now.

I'm a little more secure (albeit not entirely) and care a little less. And this time around, while the scars are still there, they've healed. I've healed.

I miss things the way they were, but then again, I know that things are better now. I do not long for things to revert back to how they once were the way that I once did. I see no reason to shut my voice up, or out. This is my blog, this is my place, and damnit, it will remain the same forever more.

What I write here, Anyone in or outside of my life could read. Yes, I know that some of the things I have written, or will write will be hurtful. I know that some things will be taken the wrong way (i.e. implying negativity where there is none) but at the end of the day I do not write this for you, dearest reader(s). I write this for me.

This blog, and all of my Internet writings, have been key in me moving forward, and moving on. They have been key in me finding motivation, and me again.

I guess I'm saying, that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter who reads this. It doesn't matter if you step forward and introduce yourself. It doesn't matter if you lurk in the shadows. It doesn't matter if you're interested enough in my life to read my words here, but not reach out for real contact. It doesn't matter, because, this isn't about you. This blog is about me.

That's pretty much it. So as the title of my earlier post says... it's business as usual around here.

Oh yea... and AFP rules so much it hurts. I SO wish I was going to TO next weekend.


Anonymous said...

omg new album?? Thank you for inadvertently bringing this to my attention!! :D

eva said...

having to shut up about everything is no fun. you only live once etc, and you life for yourself and not for others. it doesn't really matter what people know or think.

Michelle said...

It's good to get it all out!