Thursday, November 20, 2008

I can't stand my new job

I hate being in training as it is.

I can absorb more information in less time than the majority of the class, and hate having to go so slow. I hate being taught everything I already know. And most of all, I hate the fact that I've started out at the bottom again.

This just means that I need to make sure that I keep getting my name out there to get a better job somewhere else. I'm going crazy.

And, I don't have a god damned clue how to apply for anything there. they say there are postings, and they say you need a letter, but they don't actually give you the facts about how to bloody well move up.

I could handle that. I really could. It's the shift. I barely get to see my son and my husband anymore. I cry all the fucking time because I'm lonely. And I know this is taking a toll on my son too, because he's just not sleeping. Without fail, at least 2 times a week, I have to go into his room, and soothe him back to sleep. We snuggle, and he finally relaxes and gets back to sleep.

It's just breaking my heart. I don't want to do this anymore. I just don't.

But I will.. because it's a pay cheque, but I can already feel the anxiety attacks coming back on, and I've had a headache for 3 weeks now.

I need to find something better. something that's not entry level.

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