Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The why...

Thanks for the comments on the last post... they are greatly appreciated.

So, I've been wondering what's gotten into me lately.

Honestly, I'm a fairly private person who doesn't let too much about my personal or private life out of the bag. I do break down, and have let some people in (usually those relationships go to hell in a hand basket quickly) but on the whole, I'm not the person who publishes her life story to the Internet!

As I read my last post to the husband... I was thinking about WHY I've done this. And here's my why...

Whether consciously or unconsciously, I've lived the last 21 years as a victim.

I've never addressed, handled or let go of any of the demons hidden away inside of me. I've hung on, and let them fester and define who I am. There's a lot more to my story.. as I said before, it's the story of the girl the world kicked the crap out of...

Anyhow... I've hung onto Shana the victim for years, and I've made it a part of who I am, and I've had enough. I just can't do it anymore... I'm living a half life, and that's just not right. So here I am, purging my inner demons for all to see. I'm hoping that once this is done... I'll be able to stop being Shana the Victim, and be Shana.

1 comment:

Elise said...

I'm so glad to hear you say that! Get it all out and get on with being the person you were meant to be! ^^