Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Life isn't Fair

(taken from my writers craft journal. Monday February 7 2000)

Sometimes life just is not fair, was my first thought upon waking. My eyes dart around the stark white room they put me in. There isn't anything to look at. Well, there's that window, but even if I could get to it, I'd only see bars and dirt.

Okay, so maybe I brought all of this on myself, but it's still not fair. It down right sucks. No, I have to stop thinking like that. That's what got me here in the first place. Life is good, unfair but good, the words like a chant through my brain.

Finally calm again. That's good.

Oh no! My nose itches, it's so maddening. I can't scratch it and every time I try, my wrists chafe. Damn straps, why do they always put them on so tight?

'Nurse... Nurse! I need some help!'

The nurse comes into the room and eyes me critically. She's a thin woman who would be very pretty, if she ever got that look off her face. It was a look of tired cynicism. She had worked here too long, and now accepted that she was never leaving. This could be clearly seen in the set of her jaw, but mostly in her eyes. Now those eyes were on me.

'What is it?'

'My nose really itches. Can you take my straps off?'

A dark look flicked across her face.

'I promise I'll be good! I mean, what can I do here?' I gave her my most beseeching look. Her face softened and she almost lost the cynicism.

'Alright, but only this once, and only until the doc gets here.' She leaned over and started to undo the straps. My left hand was almost fee when doc Richards came in. He saw what the nurse was doing and went ballistic.

The nurse defended her position and it became a full blown argument. I was left forgotten on the bed as I wriggled my hand free. Suddenly I saw things as almost fair. Well, the poor nurse was getting in trouble for helping me, and that wasn't fair, but I was getting my escape!. That I found very fair, and good. Can't forget good.

Slowly I moved my left hand to my right. I could have gone faster with how focused they were on their argument. I tried to work the buckle and couldn't at first. Then, finally, I got it.

I rolled off the bed and started to crawl to the door. That way I'd be out of their line of sight. I was almost out when the doc took a step back, Right on my hand! I yelped in pain and he looked down.

Suddenly a red rage clouded my vision, and I started screaming and striking out. I felt strong hands take hold of me, and a slight sting in my shoulder.

A few seconds later, the world was hazy and all I could think was, life is just not fair.

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