Thursday, June 19, 2008

But I think I can keep it together....

I need a dose of reality. A huge reality check. An unflinching look at myself and my life, myself and who I am.

I was using the Wii yesterday, and as I did yoga, it told me to "visualize my ideal body" and I couldn't. I couldn't visualize MY ideal body, as in ME. The only image I can conjure up is one of Carrie G. I am not her. I will never be her. I will never look like her, and I really don't want to.

I seem to have this warped sense of reality where I think the hubs is still in love with this woman, and wants to be with her even though he says he's not. My inability to trust him in this is a) I have trust issues, and b) he's said this to me before, and proved it all a lie before.

My name is Shana-Marie, and that is who I will be. I will be the best person I can be, without sacrificing who I am.

No comments: