Saturday, May 14, 2016

In which Shana takes a selfie

Or, why I'm okay with selfies.

People who take and post selfies on the internet or share them via text or snapchat are often considered vain little attention whores.

And this is sometimes this is the case, there are a lot of people out there that are just looking for attention when they post photos of themselves in the mirror.  They're looking for people to tell them how pretty they are, or how wonderful a person they are, or how much of a difference they make to the rest of the world.

We see it every single day.  When someone posts a near daily photo of themselves, or six of the same picture back to back to back, or my personal favourite... the all the photos are from the same godsdamned angle.

It's gross.

But, we live in a world full of ugliness.  In a world full of criticism, judgement, and hate so what's wrong with celebrating a little bit of beauty?

I know for me that's why I post selfies.  I'm someone who has little to no self esteem, so it's very rare that I feel pretty let alone beautiful so the days that I do I like to snap a picture.  I don't post them because I want the likes or the comments.  I don't post them for the validation (although I would be lying if I said it didn't feel nice).  I post them because the next time I feel hideous (which is likely to be 35 minutes after taking the picture) it's harder for me to delete it if it's on the internet.  I post it so I can maybe remember that one time *I* thought I was pretty.

So maybe think about that before you bitch about someone's selfie.  And hi-five them for feeling good about their own self, because you don't know how long it has been since the last time they did, or how long it'll be until the next time they do.

Monday, June 8, 2015

In Which Tryph doesn't Want Widow

So there's been this internet flash mob/hashtag thing dedicated to #WeWantWidow... which I sort of get.  She's a pretty cool character and people seem to think she's getting the shaft because she's female.

I beg to differ.

I'm a Hawkeye fangirl.  I would love to see more of him in his own films or on his own merch, but I'm a realist.  It just won't happen.

Why do I say that?  Because he's a regular guy.  That's his shtick.  He's just a guy who happens to be really good with a bow (at least in this version of events).  He isn't super rich and smart enough to build power armor, he isn't a god, he doesn't turn into a big green guy and he isn't a genetically altered WWII supersoldier.  He's just a guy... which is what makes him a great supporting character, but the star of his own films?  Nope.

(though I do recommend reading the comics... they're fantastic, and I love his story.  I just don't think it would translate into a 2 hour event)

And this is the same problem with Romanoff.

She's just a highly trained woman trying to atone for her past.

Her film would have her fighting her inner demons and people.  Nothing too spectacular, no giant alien armies, or anything too exotic.  Not because women can't handle themselves, but because Black Widow is just a person, highly trained, but still a person.  If she was fighting something superhuman (which we all know if what Marvel movies all have/need) she'd (much like Hawkeye) need some kind of backup... which would end up being another Avengers movie.

It's sad but true... the Regular People of the Avengers just don't have enough to them to have their own movies.

I would like to see them both on more merch though.  Both Hawkeye and Widow seem to get shafted when it comes to that.  Although, it does amuse the shit out of me when people think that people got the merch wrong when the Avengers include Spiderman.

Anyhow, that's the end of this rant.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

In Which Tryph Isn't A Writer

Once upon a time ago I was a writer.

I'm not saying I was any good, but it was something I was passionate about, something that drove me.
I'm not a writer anymore.

This isn't because I don't have ideas, or the capacity to write, the reason I'm not a writer anymore is far more simple.  I'm not a writer because I don't write.  Anything.

I've got stacks emails and messages I owe replies to.
I've got so many half started ideas.
So many half written blog posts.
I'm kind of useless at this.

Well, lately I am at least.

Today I decided to change that.

someone once told me that there's no way through writers block but through it.  That writing just needs to be a habit, something that you need to do every single day... kind of a use it or lose it thing.  And they were right.

I've let my writing slide, and always have.  I've taken it for granted that I could still call myself a writer even when I wasn't writing... but I'm realizing that I can't.  I'm not a writer, not anymore.  But it's something I can change.  It's something I will change.  I will reclaim something I always considered a birthright.

I will be a writer again.

It's just going to take some time and commitment.

Lets do this.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

In Which Tryph writes about feminism...

So a couple weeks ago someone shared a link to a video of a young woman who was justifying her stance on why she doesn't need feminism.

I wish I could find it again, because it was terribly thought provoking and contained a message I haven't been able to get out of my head.  Her point was that she doesn't need feminism because her view of the stance is that there is a focus on women's rights and giving women access to programs and things that are not made readily available to men.

Her focus seemed to relate to things like women's shelters, and the number of men that are raped year (actually typed annually but... that just didn't look right).

And she's right.

There are a lot of shelters and programs geared towards women that men don't have access to and should.  Men are just as likely to be at the mercy of an abusive relationship as a woman.  Why is it so much easier for a woman to find a safe haven than a man?

Then there's the comments she made about rape, and how so many fewer rapes are reported by men.  Again, she's perfectly correct.  A man can be raped just as easily as a woman can, and it's just not something that many men would feel comfortable reporting.

So, if she's right and men aren't afforded with the same kinds of programs for similar issues, how can I still stand by my position that feminism is necessary?

It's easy.  Let's look at the big picture here.

We still live in a culture where women are perceived as weaker individuals, both physically, mentally and emotionally.

We live in a culture where the women who come forward about things like sexual assault and rape that they are ridiculed, or are made to believe that they somehow did something to invite the situation.

So, tell me this.  WHY would someone who is told daily that they should be stronger in every way come forward and report a situation that a lesser person is mocked for?

The problem isn't in the lack of programs (although I do fully agree that men should have similar programs and access to shelters), it is in the perception of the differences between men and women.  Until we bridge the gap that we are all EQUAL, we will never have equal treatment.

And until then, we still need feminism.

Monday, April 27, 2015

In Which Tryph writes an open letter

This letter is to myself... and anyone else who needs to hear the message.

Dearest Tryph,

I've been watching you for a very long time and I've learned quite a bit about you.

You're not like other people; social conformity has never been your strong suit.  When you were a child, you didn't fit in with your peers and often felt more comfortable with adults, and now that you're an adult... you tend to drift towards people younger than yourself.

And then there's the way you dress.  It's all tshirts and skirts and boots.  It's strange combinations of dresses and tights.  And your hair... you hate having hair that looks like other people.

But you're also so afraid of being different.  Some mornings you stand in front of the closet and fret over what to put on, over what people will think about how you'll look.

How many times have you thought to yourself "I'm too old to dress how I want to"?

How many times have you compared yourself to someone else?

How many times have you wished you had some asset that someone else had?

Just the other day, didn't you actually say "I love that you can wear lipsticks like that... they look so good on you and I wish I could wear them!"

Where did the girl go who didn't give a fuck what anyone thought.  The one who would just wear what she wanted, do what she wanted and not give a second thought?

So what if you end up dressed like your friend.  Just think of all the pictures and funny stories you'll have.

So what if you dye your hair the same colour as someone else.  It just means you both have good taste.

So what if someone thinks you look fat, or ugly or that an outfit doesn't become you.

If there was one thing that I learned from being in an abusive relationship it was this... No one can decide your own destiny but you.  No one can make choices for you.  No one makes you do anything, act anything or can take anything away from you (well, they can physically, but you know what I mean)

Anyhow... that's all I wanted to say.

Love always,

p.s. Remember what Mojo once told you... "Fuck 'em.  Be you, You're awesome"